“The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.
Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your mind and with all your strength.’
The second is this: ‘Love your neighbour as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”
Moving on from a setback like a failed IVF changes your life.
How you respond determines whether you recover and make progress towards healing, or stay in the dark place of pain, devastation and hopelessness.
Solely by the uplifting grace of God, Bren and I were able to pluck ourselves slowly out of the dark hole in the next few days, and we kept going in the direction of seeking His will for our lives. I have lost count of how many times I told Bren, “God says He will make me fruitful and increase in numbers, and that He will do. I do not know how He will do it, but I just know He will.”
We did simple things. Eating our favourite Japanese cuisine. Taking walks in the park. Reading devotional books together.
Just little things that reminded us of God’s goodness, and His commandment to love each other and others. Truly, when we take God’s perspective of things, it does get better. Though not immediately, or as fast as I wished it would, but things did get better eventually.
I would have days that were more emotionally challenging than others, but for the most part, I was making inroads to a place of deep healing.
As an act of faith to proclaim that God’s story was not over for us, we went to Parkway Parade and got a book on raising boys (Bren has always assumed that our first child will be a boy. You can ask him why, I have no idea). This was the book: (which is a fantastic read by the way)
Bringing Up Boys (aff.)
Well, we just stood our ground that our journey did not end with a failed attempt, and God is forever faithful.
Leviticus 26:9 was my anchor verse:
“‘I will look on you with favour and make you fruitful and increase your numbers, and I will keep my covenant with you.”
My mentality was – if God said it, He will make it happen. I have to learn to surrender every aspect of my life completely to Him and to trust His sovereignty over every circumstance, including infertility.
I knew our story did not end with that call informing us of failure. It just couldn’t be.
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