2 Corinthians 4:18
So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
My Infertility Journey
The moment I reached the building, I had to stop myself because I was so consumed with emotions. I started crying as my heart felt very torn and worn out.
After all, this was the place where I frequently went in for injections, and I was reminded on how all of the efforts only resulted in this short sentence, “I am sorry, but you are not pregnant.”
I could not imagine going through all of it again, allowing myself to hope and experience devastating disappointment once more. My heart was not prepared for it. I did want to give it another shot, but I was also very afraid of a journey to nowhere. Infertility is really hard.
As I gingerly wiped my tears away, Bren encouraged me to take my time to enter the building, and so we slowly made our way to the clinic, where we were greeted with the same staff. They told us to take a seat first, and as usual, Bren got his coffee and I whipped out my book and earphones.
The wait felt so long.
I almost wanted to leave.
I was on the verge of telling Bren to just see the Gynae on his own, and that we will discuss our options after that because sitting there waiting, the memories were getting to be too much to handle.
But before I could say anything, our number was called, and a feeling of dread surged within me.
Our Gynae was sympathetic and kind as always. There was such a wise, fatherly vibe about him. As he did his usual scanning, he stopped for a second at one spot, and suddenly said, “Wow!” and turned the screen to let me have a look.
Well, I could not make out what he was trying to say and was actually half-worried that there was another problem to settle again.
He quickly called Bren in and showed him the screen. The words that came out of his mouth and what happened next will be forever ingrained in my heart.
“Congrats sir! Your wife is pregnant!“
What just happened?
Bren covered his mouth in shock as he stared at the little blob on the screen, us finally recognizing that it was our little baby-to-be. We were in tears and hearing those words felt extremely surreal.
After the ordeal of the failed IVF, getting pregnant naturally was not even something I considered a real possibility. But by the miraculous provision of our Heavenly Father, I was now 5 weeks pregnant!
Praise God for such a gift of life!
I was so relieved I didn’t need to go through another round of injections, and the sweetest part? It was my Mum’s birthday when we found out, so it was the best birthday gift for her!
Also, the EDD was set to be in October, which is the month we got married in, so it felt like God’s gracious wedding anniversary gift to us.
Oh and remember how I made the decision to leave my job in faith? My last official day was this day that we visited the Gynae – 28 February 2015! God’s timing is perfect in how one season closes and another opens – right on the same day.
It was a very special day indeed. 🙂
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